I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
