Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
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Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
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I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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