I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
