There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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