So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
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