You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
