I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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