she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
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