i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
