He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
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