Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
Randomize