Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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