just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
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