i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
