Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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