i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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