I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
