ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
You need a sexual gate keeper
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
