i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
