She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
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