where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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