Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
