I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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