It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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