I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
