Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize