I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
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