Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize