If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
