So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
