...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
