I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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