she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
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The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
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Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.