id be glad to
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Randomize
