Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
