If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
