Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I'm always down for nudity.
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