hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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