I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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