She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
