he puts the penis in happiness.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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