i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
