the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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