Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
