she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.