you're like a bully in the Christmas story
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.