Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh