Acid is not a monday night drug
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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