I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
You smell like stripper and shame
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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