i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Randomize
