I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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