we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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