I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Randomize
