When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
Randomize
