Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
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i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
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in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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