it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
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