Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
