Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize
