i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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