3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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