Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
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